This is Our year

So...2009 & 2010 were tough years. I look back at my goals that I made in January and I don't think I was able to cross off more then one or two things on those lists. This year I have decided not to make a list. I have decided to do something totally different. I am going to choose a word and that will be my goal for this year. Strange, I know. But it doesn't seem like the lists work very well for me. I still have things I am going to work on. I'm just not going to set myself up to fail come December 31st. My word for 2011 is "Happiness"... No matter what happens, no matter what I go through, I'm going to find happiness in all that I do.
Matt is still unemployed at the moment, but I have a good feeling that's going to change soon. I feel like this is our year to apply all the things we've learned in the past 2 years.
I am happy with my life. Its through my past that I have found true happiness. I have learned that Matt and I are strong and together we can overcome trials and heartache.
Our family has been blessed beyond measure. We have so much to be happy about.
Here's to 2011.

2 Nephi 5:27 And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness.

A lesson from my Angel...

I am really not in the mood to blog tonight after a day like Today! I started another "diet"...not really a diet but a life style change. Day one is always hard. I was grumpy most of the morning because I had 2 poppy seed muffins in the pantry and a half pan of brownies on the counter. No way to start out any diet/life style change. I gave into my weakness and had a small brownie and half of one muffin. (Noah didn't build the Ark in a day, right?) Me and a group of women have started another blog just for this subject. Called: From the Inside Out 9. I am hoping with their help and encouragement, my weight loss "burden" will become a thing of the past.
Next, I have thought of my friend that is on our cruise, on and off throughout the day..."She's probably in Cabo, eating a gourmet 7 course meal while sailing on the ocean looking at a beautiful sunset right now." Why do I do this to myself? Yeah, its been one of those days!
And last, after a month and a half of waiting to hear from another company if Matt could possibly have a job...they asked us to wait until Friday...Just say it already, "You've gone with someone else!" Please stop the mind games. :)
My point is this, sometimes it takes some one younger and wiser to make us realize that this life is all about learning what it is the Lord needs us to learn. Kamri did our F.H.E lesson tonight on gratitude. She asked me what "Gratitude" means to me. I said, "it means to be grateful for what we HAVE and not what we WANT." There are days I feel totally ungrateful.
If I were a stranger walking by my house, looking through the window, I would see a Husband and a Wife that love each other unconditionally. I would see food on the table and clean clothes in the closets. I would see brother and sisters playing and laughing with each other. I would see a picture of Christ, Our Savior hanging on the wall as Guardian over this house.
The day to day trials we face may seem hard in the moment. But I know that when the Savior returns to this earth, I will look at Him and I will shout, "It was all worth it."

Being Grateful for what you have

So, tomorrow Matt and I should be leaving for California. This coming week we should be sailing to Mexico. We are in the 5th month of being unemployed. I thought by canceling our cruise that Matt would have received a job by now. It is so hard not knowing from one day to the next. That is one thing I took for granted when Matt was employed. I could plan my future. I knew what I would be doing tomorrow, next week, and next month. This trial has made me aware that you should never get to comfortable. Right now, I'm really uncomfortable.

~Turning Weakness into Strength~

As we continue our journey for peace, I had a chance to think a lot this week about my life and where it's headed. There has been a lot of talk and controversy about a talk given by President Boyd K. Packer a few weeks ago during General Conference. I know everything he said was true and said with love and compassion. The more I thought about his talk, the more I realized that what he was saying was for all of us. We have all been born with weaknesses and flaws, we are human. What President Packer was saying in my mind, is that we have a choice of what we do with those weaknesses and how we handle them personally.
I am weak when it comes to food. I give in. I have little self control. I realize that this might be a minor weakness to some, but for me, I have struggled my whole life, feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. But I have usually taken the easy road and I justify the food I eat. When I do try to lose weight, I give up before I have accomplished my goal. Because we all know that failure is much easier because there is so little effort we have to put in. Success requires work and determination and self control. It requires our minds to make a conscious effort to control our actions. I am amazed how much of my bad habits are all in my mind. I have that ability to control my actions with just a little more thought and effort.
Change is never easy, we all know that. But by starting out small, I know I can over come my personal struggle with weight loss. I know that no one can do this for me. I know that there are great rewards for combating our weaknesses.
Sometimes when I'm sitting at my computer looking at blogs or other time-wasters, I think, I could be doing so much more with my life. Why aren't I? Because that takes effort. A conscious effort. Starting today, I am going to make that conscious effort and improve my life and the way that I look and feel about myself.

I just have to remind myself that this journey is all Up Hill.

Now is the time to prepare~

Today in church there was a conference talk handed out from Elder Henry B. Eyring from October 2005 titled: Spiritual Preparedness: Start Early and Be Steady. I needed this talk, we all need to read this talk.
He talks about being prepared for storms and not the hurricanes and tsunamis, but our own personal storms. This is a quote from his talk that I felt was very powerful and something we all need to be reminded of. He says, "What we will need in our day of testing is a spiritual preparation. It is to have developed faith in Jesus Christ so powerful that we can pass the test of life upon which everything for us in eternity depends...

We will need to have developed and nurtured faith in Jesus Christ long before Satan hits us, as he will, with doubts and appeals to our carnal desires and with lying voices saying that good is bad and that there is no sin. Those spiritual storms are already raging. We can expect that they will worsen until the Savior returns.

However much faith to obey God we now have, we will need to strengthen it continually and keep it refreshed constantly. We can do that by deciding now to be more quick to obey and more determined to endure. Learning to start early and to be steady are the keys to spiritual preparation. "

I love this talk. As Matt and I continue our journey for peace, I know that I have to be prepared for more disappointment and rejection. But I can also prepare myself for the blessings that are going to come from being true and enduring to the end. Everyday we have choices to make. As in President Eyring's talk, I will try harder to, "Start Early and Be Steady."

Throughout the past 2 years I have learned what it is I truly want in this life...I want to be in the present of my Savior once again and have Him say, "Well done." I hope I am living my life in such a way that that will be my eternal reward. Then I will have found peace.

What now?

I'm not going to lie...this employment/financial trial has been hard. Matt has applied for 58 jobs and has had 16 interviews total. All with the same outcome, "We've decided to go with someone else." Today we got that same news after 6 interviews with "Cintas". They told him that he was "over-qualified". They also told him that they were concerned that he wasn't committed to the job and he was more focused on his goals of becoming a Manager. Well, why did he go to school then? I think I'd want an employee that had goals and wanted to excel in their career.
I know someday Matt and I will look back at this trial and realize that it was all for our good. But you never realize that when you're in the midst of the trial.
I know we are on a journey for peace, I just didn't know it was going to have soooo many bumps and turns and up hills and down.

On the right track~

I just added up our bills from last Sept. 2009 and this Sept 2010. I was shocked at the numbers. In one year, Matt and I have eliminated over $400.00 in bills. We made a choice to get rid of the "luxuries" such as cable, Matt's motorcycle, ect. and we switched to the "Magic Jack" for our home phone ($20 A YEAR!) What a good feeling it is to know that the little sacrifices we are making is going to make a big difference in the long run. We are on track to pay off 2 credit cards before Christmas. I'll admit, none of this is easy. Everyday I think of things I want, but through all of this, I'm learning something very important...Patience.